Montana is underrated for its beauty, there is zero denying of that. But its culinary scene has little to be proud of. Take the pemmican which is described by Wikipedia as “a concentrated mixture of fat and protein used as a nutritious food.” Props to you Montana for giving us the least appetizing food ever.
Pemmican was basically created as a nutrient-rich snack for fur traders and European explorers. That’s kind of cool and I’m totally into history. But times are changing people!!! Why would you still eat this?
Mississippi -- Koolickle
Have you ever wished that your pickles were red? If your answer is yes, what kind of sick person are you? Or you must be from Mississippi... Because down south in Mississippi, they created the Koolickle. What a clever name for a pickle soaking in Kool-Aid. Do we need to expand on this more? Ok, good.
Apparently, this is actually a big thing in Mississippi. But let's be honest, the South is basically a different country where they do things in their own, very weird, way. Is this the pickle that opened the Ninth Seal? It looks like you can't dispose of it without the help of an old priest and a young priest. *sigh* Mississippi.
Missouri -- St. Louis Pizza
The St. Louis pizza is basically made like this: 1. Take a Ritz cracker 2. Top it with sweet tomato sauce 3. Cover with St. Louis staple Provel cheese aka plastic pretending it's cheese. 4. Throw it into the trash (I wouldn't even give it to the dogs). And don't forget to cut the pizza into squares because how can you fold a cracker? Then you're done.
While many of us others like to think of a good juicy steak as a delicacy, some of us others think that this abomination is a delicacy. They'll brag about this dish of theirs and their other regional delicacy- deep-fried ravioli. Of course, gooey butter cake deserves a mention here but at least that stuff doesn't give us nightmares from the Great Depression.
Nebraska -- Hot Beef Sundae
I don't know about you, but I prefer to just eat an ice cream sundae. Nebraska's hot beef sundae is created like this: you take a pile of mashed potatoes, you throw some beef and gravy on it, and there you have it, the disgusting dish is ready. READY TO BE THROWN IN THE TRASH. It's not that this dish is so horrible, but it's quite disturbing that people eat it as a dessert food. Don't let anybody try and tell you to commit such a crime.
These sorts of foods have become popular across America at state fairs, but in Nebraska, it's particularly popular and they jumped aboard the hot sundae train quite early on. I understand why it's called a sundae, considering that the mashed potatoes are the ice cream, the roast beef is the chocolate, and it's topped with some gravy which represents the caramel, and of course, it's topped with tomato, AKA a cherry.
Nevada -- Buffets
Here's another thing on our list that shows everything that's wrong with America. Nevada doesn't have much of a regional dish, so we're going to have to go with this. What other unique foods are people eating in Nevada? Their retirement savings? Clearly, nobody goes to Vegas for a healthy getaway. In fact, people don't go there much for the food as they do for the shows and parties.
So, what's the best way to satisfy a bunch of drunk people together? Of course, legendary all-you-can-eat buffets. And best yet — when you're in Vegas, anything goes. The caviar is next to the noodle salad which is next to the mashed potatoes. It doesn't really matter. Because of everything that happens in Vegas, say it with me now, STAYS IN VEGAS!