They say that everything is bigger in Texas – and they may be right, whoever “they” are. One thing that’s bigger in the Lonestar state is personality, and these Texans are sure to wow you with their southern shenanigans. Take a look at some of the most outrageous stuff caught on camera down south.
In some areas of Texas, it can be extremely hot – and dry. So, you can imagine that people would be pretty stoked when it rained so hard that it left a giant mud pit to play in. This guy is testing the waters and using his stomach to break his fall. Everyone takes turns jumping in and rolling around, and they look like they’re eager to get back in!
But if it seems as though a lot of this guy’s family members have a concerned look on their face, it’s because uncle Kit just had a pretty serious surgery not too long ago. And no one is trying to dive into a pool of blood, uncle Kit.
Wedding à la Texas
Weddings are done big in the Lone Star State, too, and Becky and Junior weren’t going to be the exception. Texans love to play all sorts of wedding games – including the tradition of shooting plates that are tossed into the sky. Yep, just like in the movies, family members launch ceramic plates into the sky while the groom (and bride, if she chooses) blow them into smithereens.
Hey, at least they aren’t shooting at anything that’s alive, right? At least, not during this ceremony. This practice is also known as “skeet shooting.”
Cob of Doom
We’re not dental experts or anything, but this doesn’t seem like a very legit idea. In fact, this guy probably has a full set of dentures after pulling this stunt. Word is, he was taking part in the new “corn on a drill” YouTube challenge. In theory, it may seem like a quick and enticing way to eat your vegetables – but in practice, it’s a good way to poke an eye out and lose a couple of teeth.
If this guy wanted a faster way to eat his corn, he could have just cut it off and eat it from a bowl, with a fork, like the rest of us!
Here we go with another case of everything being super-sized down in Texas. This guy proudly stands next to the biggest pecan in the world. Where on Earth would they think that having the largest pecan would be an accomplishment worthy of display? Why, Texas, of course. Okay, you do have to admit, it’s pretty impressive.
This guy was actually kind of hoping that there was something edible at this little stop in Seguin. But as it turns out, the only thing this tourist trap had to offer was this enormously sized pie ingredient. Hey, if the pecan isn’t already in a sweet, delicious slice of pie that we can have, we don’t care about it.
Riding around in a truck that looks like it could eat all of the other trucks is pretty much a rite of passage as a Texan. In fact, much like you see a ton of minivans in most suburban areas, these guys are all over the state. Perfect for off-road fun in the mud and impressing your date, Texans love their oversized trucks.
Unfortunately, many of the people who own one of these trucks think that it’s perfectly acceptable to park wherever – and however – you want. Hey, buddy: it’s definitely not. Please be mindful of the other drivers around you.
Lone Star Outhouse
Some things that you can imagine being “bigger” in Texas are amazing – steaks, margaritas, parties. But then there are some things that you probably don’t want to think about too much – as is the case for this outhouse, and this ginormous roll of toilet paper.
We shudder at the thought of what exactly is happening to make that a necessity. Hey, Jack was just following orders. “Bring a roll of toilet paper that’s fit for the giant at the end of Jack’s bean stock.” Nice job, Jack. Now, you should probably get out of there before the guy who’s going to use that shows up.
Spelling Bee Champions
Hey, not everyone can be good at everything. Each person has their strengths and weaknesses. Like this guy, who can apparently grow bell peppers that are worthy of the farmers market but can’t spell to save his life. It takes a few minutes of glancing at this atrocity before you can grasp what he was trying to say. And actually, we’re still not entirely sure.
We know that he’s got peppers and potatoes for sale, but other than that, we’re as lost as the next guy. You want to do what with those potatoes, sir? It seems as though Google doesn’t work around these here parts.
Big Bows and Glitter
Cheerleaders typically wear bows in their hair, but is it us, or do these ones seem to be pretty gigantic? So, let’s call those, “hair bows à la Lone Star.” Then, they decorate themselves with these huge, shimmery streamers. There is no way anyone is going to be looking anywhere else but at all of that gaudy décor.
These poor girls look like they’re dressing up to be ornaments on an enormous Christmas tree. But the worst part is they made these themselves, and actually wanted to be dressed that way. The poor audience is probably hoping for some D-E-F-E-N-S-E from those tacky glitter bombs.
Any self-respecting Texan knows how to prepare a family feast quickly and efficiently. Take this good uncle who is cooking up dinner for a large and rowdy bunch. He needed to think fast and come up with a way to cook several hot dogs at once, and voila—the rake came into play.
Northerners would probably shudder at the thought of eating a hot dog that had been cooked at the end of something that’s used to gather dirt on the ground, but these southerners don’t seem to mind at all. Then again, they’re probably all pretty drunk from those tallboys, so maybe that’s why?
The Texas Ride Through
Anyone that owns a fast-food restaurant in the Lone Star State has to realize that they’re going to have a bit more than just the average car in their drive-through. In fact, Sonic’s are built a little differently and can actually accommodate a horse better than just any drive-through window.
The people who ride these horses were on their way to a nearby trail when they decided to stop in for some chili cheese tots and a blueberry slushy with candy. It’s all fun and games until the horses leave something behind for the next people to pull into those spots.
Ultimate Texas Breakfast
For any tourist that’s been driving through the Lone Star State for nearly 8 or 9 hours, the Big Texan is a terrific option when considering stopping for any meal throughout the day. They not only offer a free, juicy 72 oz steak but they also offer a hot shower and a warm bed to sleep in. They’re a popular choice for many who drive through the area on a semi-regular basis.
But you don’t need to be in the area to want to come and enjoy a large, free steak. According to Yelp, the steaks are pretty delicious and worth the trip through town. The Big Texan is located inside of the Motel Opry in Amarillo, and their food is nationally acclaimed.
Now, if you were a bull in a rodeo, you would be extremely angry and wanting to destroy the humans involved, too. That’s because to get the bulls to act that way, they tie a rope extremely tight around their…boy parts….and pull. This causes the bull to writhe around in pain, very understandably, and kick and try to throw the extra weight off of his back since he’s hurting.
Hopefully, Texans (and everyone who still does this) can realize what a cruel and outdated practice this is so that these animals can live in peace. Surely there are other ways to flaunt your ego, boys.
“What are your intentions with my daughter?”
This guy doesn’t need 8 rules for dating his teenage daughter. He’s only got one: you hurt her, and he shoots you. This poor kid had no idea what he was in for when he asked Sally to the prom.
She told him that her dad could be a little much, but he still just had no idea until he pulled up and dad greeted him with his shotgun. Just make sure you have her back by 11:30, junior, you wouldn’t want dad to earn the right to use that thing.
Pride in the Sky
In Texas, everyone seems to be in on some competition to out-do each other as far as their state pride is concerned. And if said Texans have money – well, you can bet they’re going to win that contest. Take this guy, who spent ridiculous amounts of cash having his house built to look like this.
He’s also got a private plane – and a pilot – that he uses to impress guests. And, okay, he definitely deserves to win. After all, wouldn’t you be pretty impressed by this display of over-the-top Texan pride?
If you live in Texas, you may not necessarily get to have a white Christmas. Unless you go out of town, you may not be used to playing in the snow and being able to build snowmen – but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try! Take these kids for instance, who decided to make the best out of what they had: tumbleweeds, dirt, and sticks.
A bunch of people would be willing to trade their snowy, cold holidays for the warm, sunny ones in Texas. But hey, at least those people can make actual snowmen. They should have added a cowboy hat to make this the perfect symbol.
Filed Away Under Delicious
Only in Texas do you see someone turn an old piece of office equipment into a new way of grilling chicken in the backyard. Jay’s friend asked him to come haul off some of his old furniture, but little did he realize he’d see it again the next week at Bill’s BBQ.
But hey, after he tried some of that chicken, he wasn’t complaining. In fact, he even called it “finger-licking” good. At least they aren’t being wasteful…
This guy spent a long time inventing these upgrades for his chair. He wasn’t going to stop camping and enjoying the outdoors with his friends and family – but he didn’t know how he’d keep it up, either. Until he thought up this brilliant idea of giving his wheels off-road capability. Now, he can get around better than most of the people who have to walk through the rugged Texas wilderness.
He’s ready for all of the elements and whatever the weather’s got to throw at him. One thing’s for sure – you definitely don’t want to mess with this guy. We’re betting he could even make it up a mountain in that thing…
You’ve Been Bibbed
This guy was headed over to his cousin’s house for a good old-fashioned barbecue pork dinner, but his aunt remembered how messy of an eater he could be and insisted he wear…this. Apparently, she keeps it around specifically for this reason.
He loves his aunt’s cooking so much, though, that he’s willing to do whatever it takes to get his hands on it. Those must be some downright incredible ribs. Isn’t that right, Aunt Sally?
Adults-Only Ice Cream
Texans are experts at coming up with unique ways to beat the brutal heat that they face down south. During the summertime, you will catch them at the movies, in the mall or in the pool – wherever they can be in the sanctuary of the air conditioning. And, if they’ve got a sweet tooth, they also probably line up at the ice cream stores to get their hands on some delicious, creamy…Shiner Bock ice cream.
Only in Texas will you see this liquor offered up in its frozen form. As long as it’s loaded with sugar, it probably isn’t that bad. If you were running around in 103-degree temperatures, you might be willing to give it a shot, too!
The Texas School Lunch
You don’t have to be a Texan to appreciate all of the incredible beauty that’s oozing from this image. Most 90’s kids would recognize this bad boy as the “walking taco.” Contrary to what you may believe just by looking at this picture, this was actually one of the days everyone looks forward to lunch in school. And in Texas, they’ve got walking tacos on the regular menu in tons of schools, so these kids don’t have to wait until just one day for the cheesy and meaty goodness.
You can find these delicious bags of yum at plenty of food trucks around the Lone Star State, too.
Prison Yard Sale
This poor Texan got caught up in a burglary, and he’s looking to make some profit off of all of his goods before he’s got to do his time. He knew the cops would see some of the stolen stuff if he posted it online, so he decided to go the old school route: he held a garage sale.
With the help of his girlfriend, he was able to sell off most of the stuff. Bryan ended up making enough money to have commissary for at least two years – which, if he gets out in half-time for good behavior, will be nearly all of his sentence.
Yes, We Do
Earl and Betty own a small diner right off of the highway in a small town in Texas. They decided to put up this lovely gem of a sign to beckon tourists into the place to try their world-famous breakfast: Corn Flakes. Betty swears that they serve some of the good stuff, too, such as eggs benedict and omelets, but they thought the sign was cute.
Whatever floats your boat, but we probably wouldn’t pull over for some Corn Flakes. You can bet that we’re pulling over for eggs benedict, though!
Falling for You
Sometimes people in Texas go a little too hard at their get-togethers. Hence, this guy, who was so extremely intoxicated when he got to jail that the cops literally had to hold his head up to snap this picture. It’s pretty scary that this guy was on the road in the first place, but luckily, the only victims of his drunk driving were a couple of unfortunate mailboxes.
The cops had to put their hand on his forehead to take this picture to not only hold his head up, but keep his eyes open, too. Poor guy must have had a super rough morning the day after his photoshoot.
Officers in Texas often have to chase down supersized trucks with off-road capabilities. Sometimes, it can all seem a bit intimidating…or it did, before the Highway Patrol decided to invest in this vehicle, which allows them to see over traffic coming from both directions, on all different types of terrain. The other officers laughed at Steve when he originally suggested it, but now that they’ve tried it out, they’re completely on his side.
Say hello to the Texas Highway Patrol Cruiser and keep this in mind the next time you’re driving through the Lone Star State. After all, would you want to turn around and see this thing chasing you?
Sometimes, your cattle just get too dirty rolling around in the mud and you’ve got to rinse them off. This cowboy is taking this cow-boy to his new farm, where his wife and 2 cow-babies are roaming. This guy just went on a little road trip with his favorite cow, but now it’s time to get him home. Luckily, this car wash is specifically meant for both trucks and cattle.
Thank you, Texas, for being so thoughtful and including the needs of multiple species in your building designs. Enjoy the shower, Bessie!
Closed on Sundays
This restaurant, famous for its juicy fried chicken, set up shop in Texas and is deploying a new marketing technique. The owner thought that losing a letter in the name would attract some locals with a good sense of humor. Note: it did not go over well, and the owners quickly restored the missing “C” from their sign.
While some people thought that it was hilarious, others were offended by it and spoke to the manager. The people that complained still got their chicken, though, because Chick-fil-a does have excellent food.
Standard Texan Wear
Cowboy hats are one of the most popular accessories for those living in Texas. They can be worn by men, women, and children, and they can be dressed up (or dressed down) according to whatever the person is wearing. In fact, they’re so popular that some Texans have them custom made with gold and other expensive materials.
With the wacky weather in the Lone Star State, it’s no wonder that so many of its residents love to keep a wide-brimmed hat around. They can be plopped right over frizz or poof on a bad hair day and no one would ever even know!
Everyone knows what it’s like to roll up to the community pool expecting to be able to jump into some nice, chilly water and relax, only to find every single one of their neighbors filling it to the brim. So, these guys decided to get creative and come up with a solution to beat the summer heat: they made their own pool.
What are the ingredients for a DIY truck pool? Well, first you need a truck, then, of course, a tarp, and some cool water and/or ice to fill it up. The bad news is, you won’t be diving or playing Marco Polo, but the good news is no one that you don’t want to invite can come into your pool!
This young couple decided to go all out for their prom, and have their outfits custom made, so they would be the best dressed. Unfortunately, the theme of the prom was “enchanted forest,” and they blended in a little too well with the décor. They spent most of the night trying to find each other after getting lost among the sea of brown, yellow and green streamers.
At least he decided to gel his hair up tall enough, so he’d stick out of the crowd. All of their friends seemed to love it, though, and the two won for prom king and queen. We hope they didn’t have to spend any time outside after the dance…
Good Day, Sir
Apparently, there are some seriously wild things happening down in Texas. So wild, in fact, that this park had to put up this sign. All of the darn candy-filled piñatas and the confetti eggs have caused such a nuisance that they had to completely ban them. Well, along with alcohol, obviously. We wonder if the reason they are all banned is because someone continuously misused all of them at the same time.
But that also begs the question: what is a confetti egg? Well, at least Texans can rest assured that while banned from this particular park, they can go almost anywhere else within the state to enjoy their alcohol and piñatas.
For those that live in Texas, sometimes they’ve got to deal with rules and regulations that are specific to them; and that northerners just wouldn’t understand. This sign wouldn’t phase too many tourists unless they were dressed to blend in with the rest of the cowboy hat, spur-wearing crowd. But bar owners got a little tired of all of the deep scratches they were getting all over their tabletops, thanks to their loyal patrons – so they decided to put up this sign that says it all.
They would have tried to ban spurs all around, but then they wouldn’t have any customers to serve drinks to!
Moo-ve Over, Buddy
Cows might be something that everyone expects to see in Texas. In fact, that’s probably one of the first things anyone imagines when they think of the Lone Star State. But they probably don’t quite think about it in this context: a transporter-cow tied up to a bike rack while his owner heads into the post office to drop something off in the mail.
But not every Texan is out there riding their livestock to run errands. How do we know? Well, because at least one of them had to have been the one to stop and capture this awesome picture!
Texas Weddings: Version 2
Why on Earth would you just do the same old, boring wedding ceremony where everyone is crammed into a church and sits there fighting off yawns for 30 minutes when you could do – this? Weddings in Texas are a lot more fun than most cookie-cutter ceremonies; we’ll give them that.
This couple went all out Texas-style with their vows, no holds barred. This bull actually officiated the entire thing. And don’t worry, even though it seems like the bride’s dress may not survive around those horns, everything went beautifully.
Calamari a la Houston
People in Texas like to get creative when it comes to hosting parties for different occasions. This just so happened to be a party on a Friday, so naturally – no hot dog buns were allowed. This family decided that instead of mixing the dogs altogether, they’d tear them up and slap an identifying sign on them that reads, “redneck calamari.”
We aren’t entirely sure what that white stuff is in those bowls, but we’d probably be a bit wary of eating it. They easily could have just put out a can of squeezy-easy cheese and called it a day. After all, who doesn’t love squeeze-cheese?
No Country for Any Old Horse
Okay, no country for any horse in some areas of Texas. As you can imagine, tons of residents own horses for a variety of different reasons. And because of this, many of them ride their horses around town – both for leisure and transportation. But in some public areas, like ballparks and other similar areas. However, as you can see, the sign doesn’t only apply to horses.
Livestock also includes pigs, cows, and goats, and these signs make it clear that none of the above are allowed inside of these fenced-off areas. But for some Texans, this sign means it’s an off-limits zone for them, too. No horse? No Texan.
Everything is bigger in Texas, including this monster off-roading vehicles. Heather is actually from Rhode Island, but she visited a friend down south and got caught up in the lifestyle. Cowboy boots with bikini tops on supersized trucks? Heather fell in love, and now, she lives in El Paso. Hey, do you blame her?
With those size tires, that truck could literally climb a wall, or a tree, or something equally as cool. But Heather didn’t just move to Texas, that’s actually her truck, and she uses it for badass photoshoots like this one. You go, Heather!
This coffee cake is just another perfect example of everything in Texas being larger than life. In fact, grandma gave him this piece of heaven to have all for himself. His cousins all got one of their own, too.
Hopefully, he remembered to brush his teeth after chowing down on those boatloads of sugar! Hey, at least it would be worth a cavity, right? Anything that’s loaded with cinnamon and sugar is definitely worth it…
Here Comes the Bride
This scene almost seems like a reenactment of the famous “here’s Johnny” scene from Stephen King’s, The Shining. This bridezilla is ready to get down to business, and she’s willing to chop down anything that stands in her way. This Texan and her soon-to-be groom decided to play things a little differently.
Apparently, all of the wedding guests got to take a turn with the saw: The Lone Star version of pin the tail on the donkey. But hey, her hair looks pretty incredible for someone who’s been playing with a chainsaw in the woods.
Mud Pit Makeover
This shot was actually pulled from an episode of America’s Next Top Model. The girls had to do this challenge where they had to roll around in the mud and make it look glamourous. Nah, not really, although this girl isn’t making this dress look too shabby. She’s actually on her way to prom, hence the corsage.
This is the standard pre-prom procedure in Texas – but not everyone rocks a camo dress for the occasion. Nice choice on the orange flowers that match the “don’t shoot me, I’m human” stripe that separates the dress. Of course, she’s wearing her cowgirl boots, too, because what else would complete this look?
Texans sure love their food. Lots of meat, ice cream, pies and of course Tex Mex. A combination of Mexican food with a Texan twist. They Might as well establish a new Texas diet. Why not? There are all kinds of ridiculous diets these days, the Texan diet might as well be one of them. Who wouldn't want to eat like a cowboy?
A day's menu for someone on a Texas diet would include a piece of pecan pie with the morning coffee, Mexican food for lunch, and some grilled meat for dinner. Non-potato vegetables are optional. Expect Texan size portions here and Texas-shaped steaks.
Texas roads are tricky as they are inviting. With big cars and wide-open freeways, you could find yourself cruising at dangerously high speeds even if you only planned on going on a little joyride or pop over at a friends' house. Even if you don't consider yourself a speedster, you might want to look out for cars speeding around you. In fact, the cars speeding around you will make sure to honk their horns at you if they think you're too slow.
So if you feel like taking a trip to Texas anytime soon, remember to throw caution to the wind. You might get caught for speeding, but that will only be proof that you've embraced the little Texan within you.
The Four Seasons
As kids we are taught that a year has four seasons. Texas kids, however, might learn that in school but experience something completely different. Texas is in the South and so close to the equator, so the temperatures are high. Texas essentially has four slightly different versions of summer and that's about it.
In some areas it is hot and humid, others have more arid conditions, but one thing is for sure, summertime in Texas is hot hot hot. Texas residents might be able to bake cookies in their cars by leaving the uncooked dough in the vehicle and wait for the scorching sun to do its thing.
They say it’s important to diversify your business, and the people of Texas know that well. Otherwise, we have no way of explaining this picture. This person has taken the diverse business advice very seriously and decided to offer two services that you might not combine together naturally.
But then again, you can never know if psychic karate could be for you. For all we know, fighting people with your mind might be a lot less energy-consuming than a common martial art.
Texas ranchers tend to be very possessive when it comes to their ranches. Which makes a lot of sense. What makes a little sense is the violent reaction that trespassing triggers in them. Signs like this one can be found in various locations around Texas, warning people not to wander off into someone else's land.
Well, that gets the message across loud and clear, though to do all three seems excessive. Just stay away, as you're not likely to get out alive, and if you do, you’ll still end up in court. It seems Texans have no mercy when it comes to trespassers.
Other than geckos and other reptilians, Texas fauna also includes deer. Actually, there are so many of them that they often end up on the road and spook innocent car drivers. This is why you can find signs such as this one on Texas roadsides.
We have never seen a sign like this anywhere else before. We are guessing the deer might not be aware of oncoming vehicles and step out into the road without looking, or even knowing to look. So, watch out and drive slowly for the next mile. Or generally speaking, while we're at it.
Texas has such a huge landmass that it's almost the size of western Europe. It really is that big, and most of its people are concentrated in the big cities. It’s no surprise then that there are vast expanses of absolutely nothing.
22 miles is almost as long as a marathon, so that’s a lot of nothing. Once you do reach the next town, the locals would be happy to show you some local hospitality.
Texans like to do things the old-fashion way. That includes paying for things. It appears that some businesses in Texas still accept payment in livestock. We were wondering if anyone ever walked in and asked if they had change for a camel.
As old fashioned as Texans can be, many of them don't accept payment in checks anymore. Checks are basically useless pieces of paper in Texas. But when you think about it, there are so many convenient wire transfer apps out there which would sooner or later turn checkbooks to ancient history.
Giving the Boot
In Texas, the land of cowboys, it is only a matter of time until something — anything, really — gets a cowboy transformation. Take this house for example. With a proper heel and pointed toes, no one could mistake it for a home of anyone other than a Texas cowboy.
The on-point proportions of this boot make it look like someone transformed a giant's shoe into a house. Towering over the other houses around it, this boot-like home could be a testament for how giants cowboys used to walk the land thousands or of years ago (or, at least, start a rumor about them).
The Hitchhiker's Guide
There is an insane amount of correctional facilities in Texas. Maybe the heat is driving people out of their minds. Also, it may or may not have something to do with how fond Texans are of their firearms. Perhaps it's a combination of the two.
Anyway, when there are so many incarcerated people in one state, signs like this one become necessary and might even save some lives. So no hitchhikers, you hear?
Keeping It Safe
Responsible Texans know how to handle their guns but they also know how to properly store them. So yeah, Texas is where you can find many people with firearms strapped on their cowboy belts, but there's more to it. Real cowboys know that safe is the new sexy.
Judging by the massive size of those safes, it looks like the common Texan has quite the armory. Either that, or they have totally different plans for those safes. Should we be scared or intrigued? For now, we are a little bit of both.
It doesn't take a lot of research to learn that it's hot in Texas. How hot? So hot that some people compare the local weather to the weather in hell. So hot that sweat boils on your skin before the sun evaporates it. So hot that a three-minute trip to the supermarket will make you regret not wearing sunblock.
It's so hot that any glass of ice-tea turns into hot tea in thirty seconds. It's so hot that any swimming pool would eventually cook you alive. Apparently, it's also hot enough for the scorching road to melt your car tires right off.
Texas Dance Hall at Your Door
This trailer titled Hello Trouble Hall is essentially a portable dance hall that can be driven to any location around Texas. Classic line dancing and square dancing are deeply engrained in the Texas culture. And you can't have a classic Texas dance party without a proper dance hall.
A proper dance hall needs to have the right kind of wooden floor. Sliding our cowboy boots across a different floor is just not the same. Feel like honky tonking for one night? Call the Hello Trouble Hall and get a dance hall wheeled into your back yard!
There are a few things you need to throw a party in Texas. First, you need a proper grill to cook the massive amounts of meat you got. Next, you need a lot of ice to chill everyone's drinks because the weather is not going to work in your favor on that front.
Then, you need to take care of beer. You can't have cowboys over and not give them beer. And finally, as a finishing touch, you need to get a couple of deer-horn bottle openers as a finishing touch to open all the beer you got for your fellow cowboys. Now it's a party!
Grilling your Texas meat can't be done on just any ordinary grill. It needs style, it needs class, it needs humor, It needs to scream Texas. It needs to look like a pink pig with drag-queen eyelashes. Just like the grill in the picture.
We have to commend the grill designer on their attention to detail. Especially the heart-shaped nose and the little dangly bucket on the front. Thank god the meat cooked on this grill is already too dead to understand it's being cooked in a version of its living self.
Some snacks have made it global. You know, like Cheetos or different kinds of potato chips, which can be found at pretty much any supermarket in the world. Other snacks are still confined to the borders of their home country or state. Just like the snack in this picture.
Bacon Bark, which apparently can only be found in Texas, is a snack made of smoked bacon coated with milk chocolate. Sounds awful. We'll take ten.
Livestock on Livestock
All those farms and ranches around Texas mean you are going to run into lots of animals — cows, bulls, horses — you name it. Sometimes, you might even run into all of them at once. Just like in this unclear piece of furniture.
For those of you who are too overwhelmed to understand what they're looking at, let us break things down for you. It's a cow skin carpet draped as a background for a humongous bull's head with a horse painted on it. We have a feeling that if the camera zoomed out a little we could see some more animals. Perhaps a taxidermy chicken with antlers?
Look at those statues of Texas kids. Who do we have here? Mary Louise the pageant girl, Billy learning how to use his father's lasso, Wanda Sue the fashionista, Bobby shining his boots, and Annie Lou trying to line dance.
It's like Texans prefer putting those on their front lawns instead of using garden gnomes. Can you imagine a yard featuring all the sculpted kids in this picture? It will look like there is a classroom full of brass students in the garden!
The song says that this is a man's world. Still, there is no man on earth who would dare say that to a Texas girl. Anything a Texas cowboy can do, a Texas cowgirl can do better while wearing high heels. And if cowboys like to clad their homes with fur, you can bet your last dime that cowgirls are no different.
Texas princesses would love a trip to this place in order to get the best and softest furs to decorate their palaces with. We guess that they would get one piece to drape over their living room couch, another piece to use as a carpet, and a third one to use as a bedspread so they can sleep in style.
When you think of a cowboy having a drink, you usually imagine a scruffy man entering a saloon in slow motion, sitting at the bar, raising his hat with a single finger, and asking for whiskey with an incredibly hoarse voice.
But the reality is not the wild wild west. Saloons are not as common, and cowboys now have iPads. They also have a more elaborate sense of style. One that apparently involves flasks decorated with snake-skin for a quick, on-the-go drink.
So you know how people sometimes bring you souvenir coasters from trips they go on? Like a coaster with the Eiffel Tower from Paris, or a coaster with the Statue of Liberty from New York? Well, Texas coasters can also make for great souvenirs.
Only you'd be surprised to find some coasters from unconventional materials in here. Actually, when you think about it, animal fur might be the perfect material for coaster because the hair could absorb all the moisture from the glass and better protect your table from your beer.
When Sia sang "I'm gonna swing from the chandelier" she probably pictured a chandelier that's awfully different than the one we're looking at right here. Most people do. But Texas people aren't most people.
When Texans picture any piece of furniture, they first imagine the animal it was probably made from. This means that their idea of a chandelier involves several pairs of antlers put together with a few lightbulbs screwed on.
As you may have deduced from reading this list, firearms are relatively common in Texas. Shocking. We know. And you can never be too careful when you have all these guns around. This sign is a perfect example of that cautiousness.
With an air of humor about it, the owners of this establishment clearly don’t want people to take their firearms out of their holsters. However, if you are doing so to help them with someone trying to rob them, you will be thanked.
This is an interesting statement as we know people come in all shapes and sizes.
Are they suggesting they will match the portion of nacho’s to the size of the customers behind? Either way, there is free wifi available so you can upload a picture of your nachos when they do eventually arrive.
The small town of Alpine, Texas is not to be confused with the Alpine mountain range. Lord knows the temperatures don't confuse the two. Anyway, this town has a sense of humor about their community.
Listing all its stats, it’s then added them into a total with some simple arithmetic. Who said anything thing about inflated numbers?
Living in the fourth most populated city in Texas, the residents of Austin must be a little sick of other people. We think the people of Austin don’t want a high number of new residents, and seeing this shirt makes us think we're right.
Giving you a tip to move to Dallas as an alternative, you’re almost convinced as it’s said so nicely. That Texan humor is everywhere. And for the record, Dallas is even more populated than Austin, so if you're looking for a place where you can get away and be alone for a bit, that might not be the place for you either.
Usually, people are afraid of being bitten by a dog, but in Texas, where guns are relatively commonplace, people are also quite the risk. Besides, knowing how territorial Texans can be, you aren't likely to try to get on someone's land without their permission.
They say that dogs imitate their owners so beware of a dog with a gun! We think it's only a matter of time until those four-legged citizens learned how to use them.
This hat-wearing house can be found in Huntsville Texas, and it's even cooler than it looks. It was completely made out of donated or recycled materials so it's both eye-friendly and environmentally friendly.
It is actually quite the tourist attraction — tourists, as well as locals, drive by this house all the time to take pictures of it. It shouldn't be hard as the massive cowboy hat towers over all the houses around it.
If there has ever been a cattle breed with a self-explanatory name, it's the Texas longhorn. Bred in Texas and featuring a hefty and long set of horns, calling it any other name would be insane. It's easy to see why the Austin football team is called the Leghorns.
The Texas Longhorn in this picture is called Poncho Via. It currently holds the Guinness World Record for the longest set of horns, which stands at 10 ft 7.4 in. That's wider than the face of the Statue of Liberty!
Eat or Be Eaten... or Both
A Texas kid named Chipper went fishing with his grandfather. The two were hoping to catch some fish, but they never thought that they would roll back a fish that was already in the midst of being eaten by a snake. But when you're in Texas, you should always expect the unexpected.
The diamondback water snake in the picture is non-venomous, so Chipper and his grandfather were not afraid to release it back into the water, along with its meal. Right after they shared this picture online, of course.
In most cases, people working at drive-thru windows at a fast food joint won’t let you walk-thru to pick up your burger – no matter how much they should appreciate the fact you didn’t drink and drive.
But something’s different when you’re on a horse. We wonder if they had any apple slices for the handsome transportation.